Popcorn

I learned at a young age that things that seem wonderful in the beginning sometimes aren't. I remember as a teenager babysitting for a family with three kids. We were watching a movie one particular night and eating out of a bowl of popcorn that had been popped earlier. I love popcorn and especially buttered popcorn, so I was picking out all of the butter-drenched pieces to eat. After eating quite a bit of this delicious popcorn, the oldest of the kids asked me why I kept eating all the popcorn that Jeremy (the youngest child) had sucking on and puting back in the bowl. YUCK! I learned that even when things seem so appealing in the beginning, that instead of digging right in, I need not make a hasty decision, but one that is well-informed.

Today I said to Beck, "I think me and you are best friends." He then put his hand on my cheek and said, "Forever." I couldn't love that little guy with all his sassiness and sweetness any more than I already do.
I also took Beck to the doctor this week for his 3 year check up and as the doctor was feeling around his stomach he said that Beckam had the largest amount of abdominal muscle in a 3 year old that he had ever seen. He was amazed at how strong he was. I guess all those sit-ups that the boys do with Nate are paying off. :)

Jaxton finished off his preschool year this week and he has decided that he really likes school and learning. He's made great progress this year with his letters, numbers, and writing his name, as well as learning that it's okay to feel shy, but that he doesn't need to because people always really like him. On his end-of-year progress report, according to his teacher the two things that he needs to work on are "following directions more closely" and "galloping." He's made some great friends and I'm sure he will be very excited to see them again in the Fall.

So the potty training has begun. As far as I'm concerned potty training is the worst parenting job I have encountered thus far. I just keep telling myself that once Beckam has it, then I only have one more to go. Maybe a recent conversation with Beckam will let you know how the process is all going.
Me: Beckam, you need to start pottying on the toilet like a big boy.
Beckam: NO!
Me: Well, you need to decide whether you are going to be a baby and do baby things or whether you are going to be a big boy and do big boy things.
Beckam: (after thinking for 10 seconds or so he folds his arms, furrows his eyebrows and says . . .) Neither! I not want to be a BABY and I not want to be a BIG BOY! I JUST WANT TO BE BECKAM!
Heaven help us with this little guy. This whole experience sure is bringing out his stubborn side.

I lost my brand new phone a few weeks back after I had picked Mac up from school. I pretty much freaked out in the car when I discovered that it was missing and I was trying to figure out where it could be and Mac kept asking me questions like "How much does a new phone cost?" and "What kind of store do you buy phones at?" After ignoring him the first few times I reacted not so patiently with, "I don't care how much they cost or where you get them. I just need to find the one I had!" After a bit of silence from the backseat, Mac then said, "I was just asking you those questions because I was going to use my money to go to the store and buy you a new one." I'm so grateful for my children and their gentle reminders every day to be a better person.

Jilli is 9 months old today. I can't believe that we've had her for three quarters of a year. I just can't imagine our lives without her. She's so mellow and easy going and fun to have around. The boys grow more and more in love with her every day, which I didn't think was possible. I keep waiting for the excitement of having a baby sister to wear off, but so far it hasn't and I really don't see an end in sight. I'm super happy that my boys think she's the greatest thing ever.

And then there's Jax. Still the same sweet guy with the greatest laugh imaginable. His laugh turns heads and makes everyone smile. He's becoming quite musical and can be found making up songs at all times of the day. Most of them consist of naming the members of our family and then repeating phrases like, "You're so sweeeeet! I love yoooooou!"

Love my crew!

Mac forgot to put something in his backpack for show-and-tell on Friday, so he danced (brake dance to be exact) for his class. According to him everyone cheered for him "and that doesn't usually happen during show-and-tell." I wish I knew what his teachers thought about the kid who loves to sing and dance and sing some more for Sharing time. That's our Mac, our little performer!

On Monday I asked Beckam if he was ready to be potty trained and he quickly replied with, "next week." That means tomorrow's our day to start and Beckam's not the only one not looking forward to it.

Jillian is officially a clapper and she loves that she can do it. That little smile with her vampire teeth, her chubby little arms, and her baby hands are just all too much. She just makes us happy.

It took a little while, but Jaxton has finally found a love for learning. He's catching on to his letters, and making pictures, and writing his name. It's a wonderful thing when your child loves learning and school.

Jaxton also has the sweetest little accent. Our absolute favorite word that he says is "gills" (which is "girls" with a twang). It's the greatest thing and makes us smile everytime he says it.

Good, not Great

Nate took Mac and Jaxton to the Stake Father and Son's campout tonight. So Beckam, Jilli and I got a movie, cleaned out the garage, talked outside with friends, watched the movie, and now Jilli is sleeping peacefully in her crib while Beckam lay sleeping happily on my bed. Everyone is happy, or should be at least . . .
It's not that I'm unhappy, I just have this overwhelming sense that having happy kids and a happy husband, a clean house, and dinner on the table just isn't enough. I seem to be battling my life-long fight of being good, not great. The pressure to do more always seems to be lingering near and then there's also pressure I put on myself to be great at something. I can paint, I can parent, I can cook, I can clean, I can sew, I can dance, I can run, I can joke, I can craft, I can write, I can teach -- it's true, I can do a lot of things, but I'm not REALLY good at ONE thing. Lots of people find their niche, that one thing that they are great at, and for 30 years I've been looking for mine. I'm wondering if being good at a handful of things is what I'm supposed to be great at . . . I guess I could handle that, but I do wish I could be AWESOME at something, anything!
Push through it, I know, I will.

Beckam got a close-up look of his face in the mirror the other day and gasped, "Mom, what those spots on my face?!" Love everyone of his sweet little freckles!

One of our 4 year old buddies was stroking Jilli's arm when he asked me, "Jami, what those bumps on Jilli Billi's arms?" I replied, "Oh those are just her rolly pollies." She has such sweet little rolls all over her legs and arms and I can't seem to get enough of them!

Mom: Beckam, we're going to start wearing big boy underwear today and going pee pee in the potty!
Beck: Ohhhhh no, not today -- when I turn 4.

Mom: (Talking about Jilli) Aren't we so lucky to have the most beautiful girl in the world?
Mac: She's not the most beautiful girl.
Mom: Well, that's not very nice.
Mac: I mean she's not the ONLY beautiful girl in the world. YOU are the most beautiful girl too!

Jaxton: Mom, does Jesus cry when he gets sad?
Mom: Yes.
Jaxton: Do you think he cries when I push Beckam?
Mom: Probably.
Jaxton: (After thinking for a minute) I don't want Jesus to cry anymore. Maybe if I make better choices like not push Beck then he won't have to cry.
Mom: I think that's a great idea!

Comments made about Jilli in the last couple of days:
"She is such a little lady." "Looking at her face, that girl has not had a bad day in her whole life." "What a beautiful baby."

Our life is wonderful and we want to always document the things that are happening. Our kids are growing and sadly it feels like before long they'll be moving out and starting families of their own (that might be jumping the gun a bit). We're hoping that we can capture all those too-cute-too-forget moments and write them down as well as the day-to-day life happenings.